User Profile

I'm Alanna♥ I'm 16

& my birthday is September 11th.
my favorite color is GREEN.............I like to listen to music.
I have a Mustang Convertible. It Is My LOVE.
I have anger management issues.
I am a PHS Cheerleader! ♥
I go around looking for someone to beat up.
i enjoy being held. who doesnt?
i am going to be in the army.
I am obsessed with working out......
[not because i think im fat, more so i could kick your ass]
I like that feeling when someone is holding your hand.....
..... and they start rubbing it gently with their thumb ♥
I eat french fries everyday
i like going to the park by myself late at night
and swinging on the swings with my eyes closed
and pretending the world doesnt exist
and im just floating in the air with marty
I went to catholic school for 8 years .....I like to be in my pajamas.
I do like to play videogames.
I absolutely HATE artsy people
I hate feeling s u f f o c a t e d
I hate boys that obsess .......I LOOOOOOOVE salt.
ALLYKAHN AND I ARE ONE PERSON.
I am NOT a girlygirl....
I hate cocky people. [ALOT]
I consume 8000 calories a day.
I hate being cold more than anything.
I DESPISE feet...........I like techno
i like sitting at the saw mill river by my house
at sunset when all the light explodes on the trees
and reflects on the water at a strange angle
and i like crying there and writing there and being there
I think girls are horrible creatures.
I AM always right [whether you learn it the easy way or the hard way].
I am adventurous ............ I cry alot.
I hate people telling me what to do & telling me what i cannot do.
I have spent 38461 and 06 seconds on my cell phone in 6 months
{thats 27 days of not sleeping or doing anything but being on the phone}.
I like listening to 90s music.
I hate going to concerts.............. I have OCD
it makes me terribly insanely annoyed by even numbers.
Nympho does NOT mean Slut.
I despise people that judge people without knowing them at all.
I like that ben+ jerry's ice cream called "one sweet whirled".
I enjoy being quite random.
I embrace being weird.

I really do love myself. I have way too many friends; my cell phone cant fit them all. i make plans with too many people but i still end up sitting at home on friday nights. i need weekends that i can just be in my bed listening to music and not doing anything or else i go crazy! yea i pretty much love him. i say that i dont like girls; but i have lots of girl friends. i like a nice pair of slacks. i have OCD, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and SAD but i do not have any STDS. I wish i was a ballerina. I choreograph cheerleading routines -- apparently. I just love being with nick. I tend to have no shame. I talk too much and too fast. I rant all the time; people are probably annoyed by it. i wish i could just change the world so it would never hurt him. For some reason i have friends in every town in westchester county and im the girl "that knows everyone" Dont ask me stupid questions it really pisses me off. nick says i hate alot but i really dont. I try to be a better person everyday; i think its working. He makes me want to be a better person basically. I have to see an organizational specialist because i cant do homework because of my OCD/ADD. doesnt that blow? I really wish i could just watch a good movie right now in the secret room. Sometimes i randomly get very sad for no reason and then i cant be happy unless i sleep and wake up in a different mood. They tell me i might be bipolar. I hate hurting people more than anything. i wish i could make it so that he is never sad about anything. Boys get obsessed with me and then i have to peaceout because it reallyreallyreally freaks me out and i dont know why. i need to admire a boy; not be admired. i wish he would just say the things that i know hes thinking. sometimes i get so excited i dont even know what to do with myself. i talk on the phone way too much. i wish i was good enough for him. i think the internet is the enemy. "I''m happy just sitting in fields with you, watching sunsets, and looking up at the stars, and dining with Senor Plank and Senora Bucket, of course." ^ thats what nick and i do. and i wouldnt have it any other way. death pisses me off. i wish i could just talk to marty. i wish i'd stop crying about it. life wont ever be the same. but im trying to make the best of it. i hate drama; but boy am i good at it. I love colors- i am literally enthralled with them. i could stair at a rainbow for fucking weeks. my room is purple! i wish i deserved someone like him. i'm the most passionate person you'll ever meet. when i love something i really fucking love it. ramen for example i eat roast chicken ramen at like 100 times in a single week. i also eat entire boxes of eggo waffles in a sitting. but only because i like eating too much. nick and i are going to eat 60 eggo waffles in a sitting. we have list of things we are going to do. its our supehero list. you're jealous basically. sometimes i get jealous of myself-- dont ask how. i love people until i hate them. i think way too much. i'm really paranoid and i think people are out to get me. i cant depend on just knowing you love me; you have to tell me. and tell me everyday in everyway you can. i wish my brain was fixed. i wish zoloft didnt put me into a mental hospital. i wish marty didnt die. i wish i could have answered the phone that night. i wish i could have just gone to his house i wish my love didnt make people kill themselves i wish boys wouldnt like me. except maybe that one. i wish every other boy ever would leave me alone i wish they didnt make my life so dramatic i hate hurting people. i hate hurting people. i hate hurting people. all i do is try to please everyone all the time i put myself out there so much i will do anything you ever ask me too and thats a promise. i cant say no to anyone. and i also cant ask for things. im retarded. but i love myself. i look in the mirror at least 9283943 times a day and i get made fun of for it. i basically was supposed to live in ireland with marty and i would give anything to be there with him i disappoint my parents to the point where they wont even look at me anymore. i stay out till 4 in the morning on school nights with random boys in random cars doing random things. its usually with ian. and we're usually eating some sort of fast food. i meet so many new people everyday it's what keeps me going. well so does he. i get sad when i dont hear his voice after too long. i wish i could be with him every second of my life and i wish girls would get off of him. i guess it's my fault i'm so paranoid. there are so many things i wish i could say but i just cant. ally and me are beavis and butthead. oh my i love death cab for cutie/dntel/the postal service. i wish my ipod wasnt broken. i hate fat people but i know i should be one. can i just be in his arms? please? i really really really really hate being cold. nature is the most beautiful gift god could ever give us. i hate people that try too hard; but i know i am one. at least 10 boys like me at any given time and i really dont like it. that sounds cocky and annoying because "who wouldnt want ppl to like you". well when it happens to you youll know. its not fun hurting people. you cant make 10 boys happy at one time. i hate cocky people. i really do try to be sincere. i get jealous veryyyy easily. i wish i was more chill. you shouldnt need someone to be happy; you should just need someone to be happier. being alone is a gift; its a privilege. and we should all take advantage of it while we can. i wish i was shorter. max told me i grew another inch or something. if this is true i'll probably just cry. i wish i wasnt as skinny as i am so please dont even start with me. i cannot take a compliment for my life. dave hates it. i really needed to get this all out. i have the worst inferiority complex youll ever hear of. i love dunkin donuts. i joined a knitting club in my school. my parents give me money instead of love. i dont act spoiled and id give everything i have to anyone if they needed it. i really do try to be a good person. i wish i could volunteer and spend my time helping people. maybe ill be in the peacecore. i hate people that dwell on things and i try so hard to stop myself. im a very very very very practical person. i love horoscopes. i cant do things like normal people unless i have someone to force me into doing it. i love salt & vinegar chips but only the Lays kind in the blue bag. i wish boys were more thoughtful and original. suprises are my favorite. i never get them though. i always hope for the best and get nothing in return. i say i dont know why anyone would like me; but i like myself. i make no sense ever. i wish he'd just tell me everything is going to be okay. i feel like if i didnt like myself no1 else would like me either. im probably right. im always right. i kinda like it. i have lots of pretty things but i feel empty. my mind is really cluttered. i need to see him soon. i have a problem with comprehending things since marty died. i have to stare at things for a very long time and make sure i remember every bit of it exactly so i wont forget. ive learned to appreciate life more. you should too. i try to help everyone i meet. i hate medication and i refuse to take it ever, right jess? i miss the mental hospital. people probably think im crazy from reading this; and i sure hope so. i hope people dont look at me and think some sort of stereotype. i hope he knows how much i admire him. in school the other day i realized how much i just love people. i wanted to hug everyone. people are all so different. and at least in my school, in my grade.. everyone looks out for each other. even people on complete opposite ends of the social spectrum... are nice to each other. and everyone is friends with everyone. it makes me happy that people are considerate. i wish i could just talk to everyone for hours. i'd tell them its all going to be okay. i wish i was mysterious but i tell everyone everything about me. the other day my psychiatrist asked me if i have a sex life. it was awkward and i blushed. "teach-me gaelic!" just came on my itunes shuffle and guess what... its in a different language. i have the worst craving to know everything. i want to experience everything life has to offer. my life is changing so much as the days go by. ive lost friends and ive gained friends. hundreds. im content with being who i am. most of the time. i can only sleep in the day; not at night. i missed school for a month and i have more work to make up than i think is even physically possible. i wish i could drive. i would drive to croton. everyday. for appertizers. ha. showering is too much of a process for me and i dread doing it. sometimes i wish i could just smell bad. good. this rant is good. noone will read it so i dont care. i just like talking. i drink lots of pepsi. i dont even really like pepsi. SHIT i was boiling water for ramen and i forgot. that means its completely evaporated by this point. fuck. i need to make ramen. i love alex from montrose. shes probably the cutest girl ever. i miss hanging out with motolucas my abercrombie model.
Thus concluding my random rant, of which you learned alot.
The most important thing however, if you remember none of this .....
....just remember this one last thing:

There is NO SEX in the champagne room.